7 Stages of Completing an Assignment
A Concise Expression of a College Student’s Life
For a college student, there is no denying the words that send the deepest sensation of dread coursing through your synapses, right to the gut; “Your Assignment is Due.”
Right. It’s time to do that thing called ‘studenting’. You signed up for school, which means you are certainly prepared to work hard and get that hustle on…not. You experience that weird contradiction, where your regular motivated self begins to deflate and give way to this monster that has no desire to do anything other than curl up in bed and eat cake. You have the sudden urge to know what happened in the last five seasons of “What’s that Show?” and learn a little about Rock Wallabies…they’re so cute!!!
How convenient for your hustler alter-ego to disappear just when you need it right?
We have all been there, at some point in our lives. The important thing to consider is that we have all gotten over it like champs. When assignment season comes, we all have what we call ‘Stages of Completion and/or The Slow Descent to Insanity”. Do these seem familiar?
1.The Preparation Complex
You are a strong independent student! You can complete this assignment, and do it well! It’s time to get started.
All the coffee in the world appears to have been exhausted, it might be time to actually get to work.
But in reality…
2. The Implementation Conundrum
Once you have wasted a minimum of 4 hours on the previous stage, you begin the tedious process of actually doing your assignment. This process often resembles a downward spiral and looks something like this.
5 hours later…
3. The Distraction Factor
So now that you have wasted precious time getting a semi-permanent forehead tattoo from your keyboard… you survey your progress.
Okay maybe you should put in just a little more work…
About an hour later…
4. The Reality Check
It is that time, when you have taken a break AFTER you have essentially accomplished nothing. You have done basically everything there is to do other than study. You decide to hit the books again and check out some details about the assignment. When DUN DUN DUN you notice that very important detail that had escaped you….the assignment is due tomorrow.
You could swear you thought it was the day after. You check the calendar a million times, but alas…the syllabus has not in fact changed miraculously since the last time you saw it.
It is time to let that sink in. Yeah you’re in troublleeee
5. The Stress Factor
After a solid ten minutes of sitting on the couch in absolute shock, you have come to accept the fact that this assignment, that you have barely touched, is due in less than 24 hours. Cue the freak-out
Once the initial wave is done, you graduate to a new level of stress…the one where you begin to over-react and plot a course for the supremely irrational…
You briefly consider throwing everything away and dropping out, because there is NO other option
6. The Hustle Hypothesis
Of course eventually, the brilliant and determined individual that you are, you realize that there IS in fact another option….that is you could actually finish the assignment.
Also you realize that you have passed the deadline to drop the course and won’t get a refund…
So you suck it up and gather all the motivation you can to complete this assignment on time. *Cue Eye of the Tiger*
And so begins the hustle
You have a few hiccups
But eventually you get so in the zone that literally nothing can distract you
Not even something as menial as sleep
The hours go by and you hear the birds chirping outside. Until finally…
You have completed it! Your assignment is DONE, with five whole minutes to spare!
7. The Conclusion Variation
After successfully completing your assignment, you are proud of yourself as you should be…
You walk up to the professor and hand in your precious work with triumph
You did it…it is time to get out and get some SLEEP
You’re just about ready to temporarily check out for a well-earned nap, when you hear your classmates say…
“Are you ready for the test tomorrow…”
You must get a grip of yourself. You are a strong, independent college student, and you remember the words of a wise old Jedi Master.